My Bliss.

       There are certain places that can free your mind. That just allow you to breathe despite any stress, anger, sadness or any other negative emotion - these places free you from it all, even if only for the moment. One of these places for me is the lake. There's something about it when nobody else is around that just allows me to let go and relax. The noise, the fresh air, the soft atmosphere - it all wraps around me like a blanket and takes away the tension.
       Normally by now I've been to the lake a few times, hell on an average winter I've still visited, but this drawn out, long, grey and cold weather has been utterly depressing leaving me home and antsy with cabin fever like none other. Today though; despite the not averagely warm temperature - I finally got up and went out to the lake for the first time this year for more than 3 minutes. [which by the way, the parking was covered in snow... go away snow. nobody likes you anymore!]
       I took the kids, we walked along the shore, searched for sea shells [and more sea shells of course!] and honestly - I felt better than I have in a few months. Even with the smattering of bad news I received today - this place... this is my bliss. This is where I find myself and my happiness wrapped up in grains of sand and cradled by waves.

 

Project 365

       I've been thinking about trying it again for a while now, but it's been so cold I knew I wouldn't make it past a week. I started one in April 2010 - I did really well and made it to day 292 and then my camera broke =/ of course... SO CLOSE! But anyways, I've been wanting to try again but either I was working wayy too much or it was winter and winter is a terrible time for me to start anything. So; now April is here and it's [supposed] to get warm eventually... so bam, I'm starting it today.

And so here is Day 1: sugar cookies 

we made for Izzy to take to school for her share day. 

Her's were actually frosted yellow with each kids initial piped onto it in blue =P

WISH ME LUCK!

                 Also; rather than posting every day - I'll just post once a week with that weeks photos! I'm so excited!

And; of course if you decide to try it yourself now or later; check out Project 365 Survival Guide - which I wrote while doing it the first time!

I hate butterflies - Happy 3 am

       Alright, so I just posted a poll feature of butterflies and you know what I realized about butterflies? I hate them, I don't like them one bit. They're pretty but upclose they're just creepy and moth like. Now that sounds crazy right? No, absolutely not; I have a serious phobia of moths. [that was my rationalization, I'm sure you're still thinking "okkkayyy crazy lady... but what's your problem?"] No, that IS my problem. I don't have the "eww that's creepy" phobia of moths, I have the OMFG I'M GOING TO DIE! phobia of moths because the next three words are I CAN'T BREATHE! know why? because I'm absolutely terrified and panic sets in and I have this sort of mini-break down where everything itches and I feel like my body is being swarmed by moths and OMFG I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!

       Okay; we're going to stop talking about that now because it's 3 am, there's about a trillion goosebumps on my skin right now and I am freaked the hell out... anyways, wanna know why I really hate butterflies? Butterflies haven't really bothered me... actually that's a lie; one time I was at the butterfly house and there was this really pretty [HOLY HELL! Did I just pull my feet up off the ground while sitting on the couch out of fear like there's some monster under there going to grab my ankles and eat me? Yes, yes I did... no joke]... anyways - this really pretty gorgeous blue butterfly sitting on some beautiful flowers and I was like oh, I'm gonna snap a picture of that little lady [because this is the butterfly house, not house of 1,000 moths right?] so anyways picture taken, la la la... well it landed on my arm [let's note that when you're there they actually TELL you not to touch the butterflies because well they're probably expensive and foreign and the 43 signs aren't warning enough] anyways; it landed on my arm and then it closed it's beastly horrid wings into MOTH WINGS!!!!! I couldn't even handle myself, it was ON MY ARM and it was so close to my face I started hyperventilating and crying right there. Swinging my arm about like a psychotic woman trying to get it off me ['cause you know, they told me not to touch them and I'm respectful]... so anyways... pretty blue butterfly I later turned out is ACTUALLY A GIANT MOTHER F-ING MOTH! from Brazil or something!

       Okay; that's not why I hate butterflies, I'm sorry we'll get to this... anyhow so you know the "more like this" feature on deviation pages... well, let's just say those weren't all butterflies! they were winged mothy little hell butterflies. And now that I think more about it; I'm not fond of butterflies either. I think they're pretty, but I don't like them... okay that's a lie, I love butterflies... but they can't have that ominous mothy look about them. They're evil.

       Back to my butterfly house story; wanna know what happened once I got a nice double dose of ativan and practically died tried to walk back to the ferry where I passed out and woke up in my warm cozy bed? [yeah... ativan and I... I'm 90 percent certain the main reason it works well for me is 'cause I pass the fuck out and whatever is bothering me is no longer important] but anywho... there was a freaking MOTH IN MY PURSE!!!!! I accidentally stole a foreign moth! So of course I kindly panicked again, and had the moth escorted back to where it belonged [away from me.]

Happy 3 am.

OMGOMGOMG! "Featured Heartist"

       Ever get a compliment where you just feel like you might not be able to breathe? That's exactly what just happened to me!  There aren't even words, even after a few hours of staring at this, there still aren't words! I'm so incredibly blown away and feel so honored right now ❤❤❤ 

       It's not even April Fools Day! Anyways; I got this from #deviantHEART, an amazing group on devinatART.com. If you're on dA and you're not part of this group, you should seriously reconsider and click on that link up there and hit join!

The Small Things.

       Saturday I took my daughter out for the night; we went to dinner followed by going to see the play Cinderella at the opera house. The opera house is probably one of the most beautiful buildings around here, and it just has this magical atmosphere to it, perfect for little girls. Anyway it was a wonderful evening with the little girl; and she had a lot of fun too.
        I curled her hair [or as she calls it made it "twirly"], we got all dressed up and she said "tonight we're classy"... I don't know where she learned that, but she was all about being classy for the night.
       The play was good, but the best part was her face and how it lit up as she watched it. I was a little nervous about taking a 4 year old to see a play, thinking she'd lose interest; but she loved the dancing, the singing and everything about it. She clapped and laughed like a natural.
       Afterwards when we got in the car I was buckling her in and she goes "Mom, this was the best day ever!". Honestly it made my heart melt, with the happiness I could see in her eyes and how excited she was about it. 
       Sunday I took my boys to see The Secret Case of Sherlock Homes at the high school; while it wasn't as prestigious as the opera house, they still enjoyed it and had a lot of fun watching it.

       It's doing little things like this with my kids that mean so much. Not just going and doing things, but when I set everything up for a paint session or they come home and see that I've baked cupcakes for them to decorate; they light up and we have so much fun. Days at the park, or sledding at the big hill. It's their bright, pure and happy smiles that make everything perfect. I can't imagine what it'd be like without that.
       People get so busy with other things; work, life, getting stuff done that sometimes they forget how important it is to spend these moments with their kids. By Monday my house was a wreck, laundry had piled up, dishes  needed tended and it was a small war zone of things scattered; thus making Monday a long day while they were at school and I was cleaning; but it was worth every second of folding laundry to see them enjoying their childhood and experiencing new parts of life.

An Acrylic Adventure.

       First; a few words.
What I Know About Painting
1. you use paint

What I Don't Know About Painting
1. everything not listed above.

       I think this was probably one of the most peaceful, relaxing things I've done in a really long time. It was so nice to just sit there and paint, it's like my mind stopped wandering, worrying,analyzing and thinking about things and allowed me to just exist where I was.

 

2014 Positivity Project

        I recently posted a journal on my deviantART page about depression, the powers of positive thinking and not being alone. After that I started thinking of ways we as people could help promote and spread positivity throughout the world and among our peers; with this I came up with a new project.
        Currently I am hosting the project through tumblr at 2014 Positivity Project and on deviantART collecting them in this folder. Maybe after some time if it grows enough I will branch it out to other media sites; but for now these two are all I'm doing... now a bit about the project:

The 5 W's

❤ What? The whole point of this project is to spread positivity through photographing inspirational/positive/motivational/uplifting quotes written on paper
❤ When? NOW! You can do one once a month, week, day or just once. However many times you want to do it! My goal is to collect 365 quotes by the end of 2014. If you do one let me know by commenting here, deviantART, tumblr or email me.
❤ Why? To spread and promote positivity through inspiration and art.
❤ Who? Everyone!
❤Where? Everywhere, Earth.

Other Info...

❤ Do they have to be hand written? They can be typed, I suggest hand written because it adds a personal touch, but honestly as long as you're doing it that's totally fine with me.
❤ What do I do with them? Other than posting it online for us to share; you can do whatever you want with the pieces of paper. I'm going to leave mine in random places for people [i.e. the library, school, work, stores, the park, etc.]

morning coffee & childrens stories

       As like any other mother, I find my children amazing; but this morning
was particularly perfect. My boys were at school already which left just Izzy and I. I made us coffee and "coffee" [which is actually a whole lotta milk, a dash of sugar and a touch of coffee] but anyhow; the snow was falling just slightly with the morning light leaking in our windows as as we drank our coffees. Izzy had my colored pens and was drawing and I was checking my messages such. 
       I looked over to find her 'writing a story', however much a person her age can write. I'll admit it was a lot of scribbles, loops and lines between [and around] the lines of your standard writing paper.
       I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm writing a story", which in it's own made my heart swell a little ❤ but what struck me was when I asked her what it was about she actually had a story line and description of what she was 'writing' so in a sense, despite the fact it may not have been actually written on paper, in her head she truly was writing a story.
       Maybe it's just me, maybe it's because I'm her mama, maybe it's a lot of things combined; but all three of my children have picked up some type of art.
My oldest son: drawing & photography
My middle son: photography & cooking/culinary
My daughter: baking, writing & painting
       I personally think it's important that children experiment with arts and learning to find their niche with it if they enjoy it. Both as an interest and an  outlet.  I've seen their  improvement grow within it, I've seen their creativity unfold and their imagination spark.

And I find it amazing every time.

Penguin Nails

       I really have nothing special to say about them, other than they're pretty freaking awesome! *dances*

2014 Resolutions

         I don't usually make new years resolutions since I don't believe the changing of a year will actually inspire me to change my life [for example; turning 20, that inspired me to start thinking & changing some things]. But anyhow; this year I decided to make a few resolutions... and here they go

★ Improve relationships and promote positivity in life [& "break-up" with anyone who brings only negativity]
★ De-clutter my life both physically, emotionally & mentally.
★ Work towards goals on my 101 things in 1,001 days project
★ Since my best friend is getting married this year; get in better shape so I can rock that dress even better
★ Improve my photography, complete my Glory-Be-Project & try new styles/medias
★ Be more regularly active on deviantART

❅101 things in 1,001 days ❅

         101 things in 1,001 days is pretty simple; you make 101 goals to complete within 1,001 days [approx. 2.75 years] you can find out more by reading Day Zero Project [about]. I started mine the first of this year, which means it will end on the 28.September.2016. That amount of time is more realistic in changing my life than 1 year.
         I'm not gonna list all 1,001 one things but they range from things I want to do with with my kids, art, my life and other bits and pieces of dreams and aspirations.

☮My Goal in Life ☮

         My ultimate life goal is simple; to find peace and happiness in every day and promote positivity in my childrens lives, my life and that of strangers. To be a good person and teach my children to be good people. I want simple things. I don't dream of greatness nor do I hope for a huge house on a lake. I just want to find my bliss and share it with my children & my love.

 ☕ If You're Reading This ☕

★ Do you have any resolutions [for 2014 or otherwise]?
★ What would you consider your life goal to be?
★Feel free to share any goals, beliefs or anything else ❤ I would love to hear your ideas, thoughts & goals!

If Only For A Second

IF ONLY FOR A SECOND
20 cancer patients participated in a unique makeover experience.
They were invited to a studio. Their hair and makeup were completely redone.

During the transformation, they were asked to keep their eyes shut.
A photographer then immortalized the moment they opened their eyes.

This discovery allowed them to forget their illness, IF ONLY FOR A SECOND.

This is seriously one of the most beautiful and amazing things I've seen. Definitely grab some tissue!

Photography: A Love Story

Good Morning Isabella I

Falling in Love
     I was about eleven years old when I got my first camera. It was instant love, my first love. I took it everywhere with me. Every flower in sight was shot, my friends became models. My dog became an endangered animal in the Sahara that was to be the epitome of my photographic lifetime. Being a  photographer quickly became my dream.

The Truth is Often Disappointing
    One day my father took me for ice cream with a side of let's talk about actuality. Simply put; he told me photography was a wonderful hobby and he was glad I found an interest in something. Then came the harsh reality; it takes a lot to become a professional photographer. Most people only ever do it as a hobby; only a select few ever make it a career.

Putting it Down
    I can’t tell you if it was the disappointment of learning my dream job wasn’t likely to happen or just a phase where I moved onto something new and amazing. I’m going to assume it was somewhere between the two, I sat down the camera and moved on. We saw each other from time to time but the infatuation, passion and desire were all drained.  It was over between us.

Moving On
    Putting down the camera didn’t kill my desire for art and creativity. I fell into a sort of adoration with a green Jackson; my guitar and writing music. When I was 13 I worked all summer to save for my dream guitar and more music lessons. I stayed up at night; my fingers bled and calloused.
    My porch became a stage, my friends were rockstars and the trees in my yard were our ever loving fans. After a few months came what is now referred to as the talk of reality and disappointing honesty happened again.

Finding deviantART
    I got my first deviantART account when I was 14 in 2005. I found it while looking for inspiring visual artwork to write off of for my 9th grade creative writing class. I looked through it and it seemed like a good place for my writing (which had become my forte at that point). I was in awe at the visual artworks. It all seemed so unfathomable to me. Drawing had always been something I wasn’t talented in. Photomanipulation seemed absolutely unreal to me. Pretty quickly though; I found myself drawn to the photography. It amazed me; one of the first photographers I can remember finding equally amazing and inspiring was kkart.

New Beginnings & Old Friends
     About 9 years later: June 22, 2009: it was 5:24 am; I was driving to the
hospital to have my daughter. The sun was just beginning to touch the sky,

Good Morning Isabella IV

turning it to a bright pink. I pulled over at the rest stop and took nine photos of the sun peeking above the water in the straits. Then I carried on with my day, and had my beautiful daughter, Isabella Rose.

    Within a few weeks after having her and taking those photos I found myself falling in love again. Slowly I began taking my camera with me when I’d go for walks with my daughter. I craved it all over again.

My First d-SLR
    Finally in 2011 I got my first d-SLR. I had saved anything I could for 5 months and put it towards it.
The funny (and painful) thing was; it took me about 3 months to get comfortable even holding it. I was so afraid of breaking it, but as soon as I gathered the courage it quickly became my favorite possession.

Dreams Come True… [kinda]

    Within the past few years I’ve learned that all those things I found unbelievable are fully believable. I am still far from the most amazing photographer; but I am far better than I was when I was eleven. Or twenty-one. kkarts photos still leave me in a slightly more than envious awe, as do many other photographers.

     Yet still… I’ve started my own little business doing portraits, weddings, etc. and selling my prints. It’s far from a career but I’m still doing it. I’ve both succeeded and failed in the world of photography. I’ve been rejected and praised. I’m growing, learning and I'm in love again.

EDIT: I got a Daily Deviation on this on deviantART!!! You can see it on this deviation

I've Loved Flowers That Have Faded

…because some dreams linger long after you wake up. 

maybe you’re my dream.

can we live in this haze forever? 

“someday love, you’re going to have to wake up.”

truer words have never been spoken.

i’m awake.

^{…and ’ve never cared much for mornings…}

Cameras & Children

       It can quite easily be said spending some quality one-on-one time with each of your children is an important part of both parenting and growing up. I like to take each of my kids out individually from time to time to let us bond and have some time together without distractions or interruptions from the other little ones.
       My 7 year old son is entering his first photo contest; over the past year or so he has shown a keen interest in photography [momma's little guy!? I'd say so!] so we decided a little camera adventure down by the lake would be an awesome idea, and we had a lot of fun!
       Here are some of the things we found while out

[these are my photos from our trip, he took some great ones too!]

Update: he won the photo contest! His entry was similar to mine of the ducklings on the log. He actually crawled down the rocks off the dock to get closer to them, it was well captured! Proud mama here!